Do you find yourself looking down a hole and wondering what you are doing with your life? Have you been making the same mistakes continuously within your personal & working life? Are you critical of yourself?
If you answer yes to any of these questions, this is a clear indication that you are unable to accept yourself. This is not in any way a bad thing but actually a step forward towards embarking on the journey of getting to know yourself.
In the past couple of years, I myself have been on this journey of getting to know myself better. I can happily admit that I was not comfortable in my own skin for a considerable amount of time and this was holding me back from living the life I was set out to live. It is believed that our memories from the past can really hinder us from growing especially if we hang on to them.
Did you experience something very traumatic when you were growing up?
These memories can condition us to think and act in certain ways. During my childhood years, especially whilst I was at school, I was always put down by my peers & teachers. This experience really affected my own wellbeing and how I viewed myself. The constant subjection instilled a lot of negative thoughts in my head which I carried on all the way through my life until now. These thoughts then caused anxiety and fear. The anxiety and fear really stopped me from achieving in the end. I always came last and not in the place where I should have initially been.
So far in my journey, I have been questioning my experiences and trying to identify ways in order to accept myself and move on. I am slowly realising that the moment you take emotions away from an experience, the easier it is to forget. One of the biggest issues I have always found difficult was to love myself since I always compared myself with others. This is something very unhealthy. Jealousy and insecurity can be fuelled from not accepting yourself. These are very unattractive traits and only lead to more sadness. The fact that I could not love myself, made it ultimately more difficult to receive love from others. I felt a lack of love with regards to the relationship with my mother, father and siblings.
How can we change our way of thinking for the better?
What has happened previously in the past is something you cannot change but only accept. Shall you still feel hatred towards the people who have in your mind hurt you? The best thing you can possibly do is to avoid dwelling in this pain but reflect on this and look at what you have learnt.
Meeting people for a reason
In life, I feel that we meet people for a reason. My partner and I have our differences and I have learnt that we can’t always agree on everything. The fact that we view certain aspects of life differently, brings another dimension to what we share together. Where I say we meet people for a reason is that during my time with my partner, I have learnt a number of aspects about myself and issues which I had not been able to connect together. I would say that he himself has also learnt something as well. We are both on our journey to being the people we want to be.
My partner encouraged me to find myself and work on being the person I want to be not my worst enemy.
How do you view yourself?
Do you hold a highly esteemed opinion of yourself or do you wish you were someone else? I, like many, never held myself in high esteem which led me to transpire negative energy towards others. This negative energy only sends toxic people our way who will constantly knock you down and not build you up. I was always downtrodden and not standing up for myself. In most recent years, I have gathered the courage to say ‘no’ and ‘enough is enough’. This feeling is absolutely amazing and will lead you to start respecting yourself. The moment you start respecting yourself then others will start respecting you.
Why do people treat you badly?
This comes down to a number of issues concerning yourself and the other person. As I touched upon in the previous question, the way we view ourselves mirrors how we view others and how they view us in the way we treat and look at ourselves. The only way this can be solved is if you learn to be kinder to yourself and realise deep down inside that we are not perfect.
If you are ready or unsure about starting the journey of getting to know yourself?
Contact me now for a consultation!
By Caroline Peart
(All rights reserved)
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