I am writing this as we speak from one of the most picturesque parts of the world. You are wondering why am I thinking of confidence when I am in such a place. The issue of confidence can affect one wherever there are in the world. Confidence is an aspect of my life which I have lacked a considerable amount of for many years now.
Whilst I was growing up, I was encouraged to play lots of sport and attend acting school. I remember playing a game of tennis and stopped half way and in the end, I was unable to continue due to my lack of self-belief. I would allow my thoughts to consume me. We can condition our minds to work in our favour or against us.
Low confidence is not only based on the image of ourselves but how we feel about ourselves emotionally. You can have all the knowledge in the world but if you don’t hold yourself in a high esteem then this knowledge won’t account for much if you cannot show it. In my work life, I struggled to apply what I knew, because I didn’t have the confidence to be able to show it. This was already evident during my childhood. I remember being kept behind after school one afternoon and was required to finish some mathematical sums. It was very humiliating. Luckily the “dunce” hat that children were supposed to wear was not in operation or I definitely would have been asked to wear one.
I have put together some helpful tips which are worth looking at to boost one’s own wellbeing.
Building a positive image of yourself
Low level of confidence isn’t just created through an image of ourselves. We can instruct our minds to think a certain way. For me, I know that I could not accept my own self-image and desperately tried to avoid this. I always wanted to be somebody else and not get to know myself. Great ways around this are to adopt a more positive way of thinking, learn to accept and view yourself honestly.
Limit the need to compare yourself with others
I have had the tendency to compare myself with others rather than face up to my own insecurities. We all think that other people’s lives are better than our own, but to be truthful, the reality is far from it.
We deal with issues differently and this is what makes us who we are!
Accept your weaknesses & focus on your strengths
Instantly, people look at the word “weakness” and think “oh my” and want to hide. We all have our flaws and this is not something to shy away from.
Once you come to terms with this, the easier it will be to focus on what you can do. I know that I have tried to avoid accepting my weaknesses and finding ways to compensate. Did this make me any happier? Well, not really. Considering I received a fair amount of negative support at school, it became more challenging for me to accept myself the way I am. One time during a classics lesson at school, the teacher asked me to read a passage and I struggled to pronounce the words. It was such a debilitating experience.
We begin to identify our strengths by doing what we love. One of my biggest passions is learning new knowledge whether its history, philosophy, politics etc and sharing this with others. I find this so incredibly enriching.
I could probably say that one my strengths would be communicating with different groups of people. Most recently, my writing ability has improved considerably. I used to struggle with my ability to convey my thoughts down on paper. When I was 13, one of the teachers from school advised my parents to take me to visit a recommended educational psychologist and this lady, who will remain unnamed, certified me as someone who would not be able to reason in a logical way.
The irony is, however, that I am writing to you that you can turn a so called weakness into a strength. I recommend writing down a list of your strengths. You will see that these strengths will help you grow in confidence.
Don’t get consumed with negative thoughts
Negative thinking is one of the biggest killers of self-confidence. The moment we start to think of a negative comment this causes our confidence to go from 10 to 1 quickly. We put pressure on ourselves to achieve objectives by a certain time. Then we berate ourselves for not achieving them. I remember holding onto job rejections instead of letting go. All things happen for a reason and we expect them to happen as quickly as we want them too, but this is not always the case. If you struggle with this, then remember that whenever you find yourself in a situation like this, you should accept the fact that you tried and it didn’t work out.
Stand Tall and put your hands on your hips
I am afraid this is something which I did not do very often. I tended to cross my arms a majority of the time and this does not exactly portray confidence more the opposite. I have been told that standing tall and putting your hands on your hip eludes lots of confidence. We all lack confidence and this is a simple reminder for us to take a step back and do this little exercise.
Step out of your comfort zone and try something new
For those who are hesitant to try something new, you should know that by learning a new skill or activity, this will actually help build your confidence even more. When we lack confidence, we feel less inspired to venture into new pastures.
The above are very simple tips and motivational ways to help you on your way to building up your own confidence. As I mentioned before, we all lack confidence from time to time but by reading this can be used as a guide and reminder to prevent you from falling into a trap again. Confidence is an aspect of one’s life, which takes some time to accumulate but if you do all of the things which work for you, then you will get there in no time!
I’ll leave you all with a quote worth remembering!
“What you think of yourself is much more important than what people think of you” Unknown
By Caroline Peart
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Image source: ressources-actualisation.fr