I started writing this a few days ago but could not decide between focusing on chasing dreams or finding a purpose in life. In the end, I thought finding a purpose in life would be more appropriate. For the last five months to this day, I wake up each day realising that I have found my purpose in life. We all have a purpose but identifying this can come with its challenges. For many years of my life, I struggled to find what I truly wanted. Sooner or later, I found the inkling that I wanted to help others to feel empowered. Someone said to me not too long ago, you got to have balance in what you do. He referred to what I am doing now, that I am expressing my thoughts in my writing and at the same time, advising others.
Before this realisation, I was battling each day and desperately trying to find answers. I have to admit, I felt incredibly confused and lacked a high level of self-confidence. I would wake up each day and not know which way to turn. This heavily impacted on my friendships and relationships. I could feel the frustrations from others and the way I viewed myself; others were viewing me like this too. Finding your purpose is like discovering your story. We all have a story and this shapes us into who we are. Last year around May, my partner suggested I start writing a blog, which I attempted to try but procrastinated instead. It’s amazing, since the moment I began writing, I could feel myself being cured. It’s like treating flu with words instead of medicine. My brother suggested to me, that I write about my life experiences and how I dealt with them and how this could help others. Writing this down, felt absolutely incredible!
We often do not realise that by writing down our thoughts, it helps us understand our actions and choices better. Do you find yourself in a position where you do not understand what you are doing and feel you have not found your purpose? This is ok, we all make choices at present moments in time, depending on our current circumstances. I still question why I studied HR as this did not give the same level of satisfaction as what I am doing now. At the time, I felt that this was the most appropriate thing to do but since having worked in the profession, I felt this was soul destroying. I do not picture myself, sitting in front of a computer for the rest of my life having no communication with others. I guess, I found the artist in myself. I am leaning towards the more creative route. For all the artists out there, tap into your creativity and don’t misuse it.
I think others saw the creativity in me but I could not see it. I was unable to utilise this because I was so blocked in my mind. It is very possible for us to turn our minds into prisons. We then have to do something radical in order to release this feeling. The sad fact is that we have to experience pain in order to figure ourselves out. The moment you find your purpose and stop relying on external factors, you automatically go after what you want. I remember delaying doing anything because I used to get so affected by external factors. Now I really do not care anymore and this feeling is amazing. You have to realise that not everyone is going to support you in what you want to do, but this is life. My best advice is to go with what you feel is best. Ever since I was a small child, I always sought my parent’s approval in whatever I chose. At the end of the day, anything I would do would be just to please them and not what really interested me. A friend of mine would describe my life as someone running to the edge of a cliff but not jumping because I’d always wait for someone’s approval. A classic example in my family is my sister who followed in my dad’s footsteps by choosing to become a lawyer and was she necessarily happy with this? Not really! Now she is currently finding herself in Africa, so good on her! We always think we have to be what others want us to be. No. Be who you want to be because you will be living your life and not someone else’s. I also relied heavily on my partner too to help me out of the ditch not realising that he can only do so much and that I am the only one who can make a difference. There were many incidents where I would wake up confused and I would ask him, what can I do? And we would figure out something together. I would always rely on him for his approval and acceptance. You have to find your purpose in yourself and not to seek it from others.
Please don’t do this to you and your partner. I highly regret doing this. This is an experience which I do not want to repeat. This can only interfere with the relationship and cause a rift between you and your partner. We would argue over me being stuck and confused. This can be exhausting so note to oneself; do not do this! I was unable to enjoy the times together because I was so consumed by my own issues. You cannot live like this, this can practically destroy you. We tend to take life for granted not realising that we only get one shot at life. So remember to appreciate life and make the most out of it.
Also remember that there are many other people in this world who are currently on a mission of finding their purpose. So you know there are others who you can resonate with. A close friend of mine is currently on a mission of finding her purpose in life. She went home to Europe and remained there as she felt this was the place she felt most alive. She felt like she wasn’t living and getting the most out of life. You may not necessarily find your purpose in the place you are living in. This may involve you going back to your own home surroundings. I know that for me, this was definitely the case. I am on the plane right now completing the second leg of my journey back to Sydney. This time away has given me the opportunity to reflect on my choices and actions. Yes, I have made some rather awful decisions, but to be honest I would not have achieved what I have today if I did not make these choices.
I have put together some tips to help you along your way towards finding your purpose:
- Identify what it is first which really interests you. I knew that I always wanted to help others and help them feel empowered.
- Exercise your creative muscle. Aim to write down 5-10 ideas a day.
- Read relevant literature. There’s a book called Choose yourself by James Altucher which i highly recommend!
- It’s worth following Tony Robbins and check out Wayne Dyer.
- Put together a list of things which will help you towards achieving what you want. Whether this is starting a blog yourself.
- Decide on what feels right for you and not anyone else. I admit that I did not do this sooner.
- Meet new people, this will provide you with another perspective of looking at your life. Find activities which surround you with people who share similar interests to yourself.
By Caroline Peart
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Image source: http://tohigherconsciousness.com/