As you may have read in our first Part of our Mini-Series, we discussed why men have fear of Long-Term Relationships. In this part, we will be going over why men have this fear and where this fear comes from. We will be covering the topics of self-awareness, insecurity, denial and fear and how to get into a relationship with yourself. Let’s get started!
One of the biggest reasons why someone is insecure, whether they’re male or female, is because often most people aren’t aware of what they’re not aware of. What does that mean? It means that not everyone sits down to psychoanalyse their problems. Once you learn to be aware of why you feel and what you’re feeling and how you can change it, that’s when you can start feeling why you may feel uncomfortable, uncertain or afraid of doing something. In this case, being in a relationship.
Basically what I’m saying is that for your whole life, you’ve probably repressed your emotions. But what you need to do is start letting yourself feel them and understand them so you stop making the same mistakes over and over again. The reason why self-awareness is crucial in every day life, (health, happiness, money, relationships) is because the longer you repress your emotions, the more damage it will do to you on a subconscious level.
This will then later affect how you feel, and affect your health and bleed into other areas of life. That’s why you have to understand fear and insecurity first, to understand where this uncomfort is coming from. Now that we’ve covered the basics of self-awareness, it’s time we move onto why we have insecurity and fear.
In any area of life, if you have to do something that is not in alignment with who you are to impress or seek validation from someone else, it’s insecurity. Validation is also getting that good feeling of when you can tell your mates at the pub about who you’ve been with. It’s a great tale to tell, but at the end of the day when you go home, those negative feelings start rising again.
It’s extremely hard for us men to admit this because we’ve been told our whole lives that we are meant to “be strong“, “toughen up” and “man up“. Also that “emotions are weak“. But the truth is, is that at the end of the day when you keep running away from fear and commitment, you know it’s because you feel like you aren’t worthy on some level.
Denial And Fear
Fear is the primary reason why anyone, male or female avoids relationships. It takes much more courage, strength and honesty to open up to someone completely than it does to spend a few hours in bed with them before you never see them again. Out of fear, comes rejection and pain.
You maybe in pain without even knowing it. If any experience in life makes you want to avoid something because of a previous situation in life, that is because of fear and pain. You have associated an incident with an emotion which makes you feel that pain-avoidance, which makes you want to run.
The funny thing is that some of us men are in so much denial about our fear of relationships, they would rather go out getting rejected 20 times than spending a few months with one girl.
If you want to break this pattern you need to do is understand where this is coming from and how you create new positive relationships to help you get comfortable with long-term relationships.
What We Will Be Covering Next Time In Part 3
Don’t forget to check out Part 3 of this upcoming series! We will be going over why some men have fear of relationships on an emotional level. We will also be covering and how to start healing yourself again by getting into a relationship with yourself first.
Author: © Mark Mayhew 2017 (All rights reserved)