Falling in love for the first time. Getting married. Having kids. Today, if it happens on the first try, it would be considered as rare, exceptional even crazy! Why? Because people live longer, study and travel more, meet more people, get married later. Also because religion is less strong as before in the Western Countries. It gives, for most of us, the opportunity to gain more experiences, but also more chances to be heartbroken and live rough relationships. As a consequence, one of the most important questions of the society today, and in psychology, is how to fall in love again after a rough relationship?
What is a rough relationship?
There are many (and too many) kinds of rough relationships. Especially today. From an unbalanced relationship, to a distance relationship, a blind love, or a difficult family in law, many factors and situations can make a relationship rough, break it and break hearts. Falling in love feels very special, and always unique. After a breakup and especially a rough relationship, it’s unfortunately natural to be sad, dramatize, lose self-confidence, and stop trusting other people. All these effects are normal, but they shouldn’t prevent you to open up again.
Gain confidence again
Do not confuse incompatibility and ‘’I must have a problem!’’. All rough relationships are so because of a compatibility issue. Think of it a bit more, it’s so hard to find somebody who understands you well, and make you happy. Most of the time, you don’t even understand yourself! So here is very important not to lose self-confidence and not to question yourself too much. How? Talk with your friends, do sport, do things for yourself and what you love to do. There is no secret.
Trust somebody again
Everyone is different and love is not a science. After a rough relationship, we tend to overprotect ourselves and not trust anybody else. Right, it takes time and it’s natural. But, don’t be extreme and keep believing in it. What do you need? One and only one good person, not more 🙂 Go out with your friends, go on dates, little by little. Don’t push yourself too hard, but you will see, time and smiles will help.
Be easy going
In your next relationship, you will never be able to predict the future, even if you feel that you have learnt some lessons from the past. People, and especially women, tend to want to control more and more things. It makes sense, but it is impossible and useless. Worse, it will make you suffer on your way. The secret? Don’t think too much and take it easy 🙂
What is the most important – keep faith
“So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you.” – Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
Author: © Jennifer Elias 2017 (All rights reserved)